Made Damn Sure That Pilate Washed His Hands and Sealed His Fate

It's been a really long fucking week.

It's 6 P.M. I am about to leave for the weekend.

Right now, I am debating between going home and having dinner with the wife and kids or stopping at the beer store to pick up a few Tall Boys and go cruising around the ghetto looking for a couple of my debtors to fuck with.

My life sucks.

And I Was Around When Jesus Christ Had His Moment of Doubt and Pain

THE CREAM OF THE CROP RISES TO THE TOP:

This is the first of an ongoing series on what I do as a debt collector that separates me from the pack, and what Anonymous does as a collection agency that separates our company from the other collection agencies. I am proud to work for Anonymous. I am proud to work for a company that performs at such a high level. We are fast becoming the Michael Jordan of the collection industry.

There are several things that make me successful as a debt collector -- legitimate aspects of my collection activity and unethical aspects of my collection activity. Today, I am going to give a brief example of my virtues as a shady collector compared to the other companies.

SPECIFICITY AND PLAUSIBILITY OF MY THREATS IS THE KEY:

Specificity and plausibility really is the key to unethical debt collection. I am constantly reading about collection agencies, such as Bass and Associates, United Processing, Vericorp, etc. who make threats like "we are going to send several officers out to your place of employment to have you arrested on a $300.00 payday loan," "we are downloading affidavits for your arrest," "you better have an attorney present when you go home, because a felony warrant is being issued for your arrest." These are actual threats reported by debtors on the Message Board at http:www.debtconsolidationcare.com/forums. These range from stupid (multiple officers arresting someone over a 300 bucks) to horrible choice of words (downloading affidavits for your arrest???) to legally impossible (felony warrant on a payday loan).

Often, these companies like Bass and Associates will only perpetuate their ignorance when you ask them for more information -- even information as simple as "how much was the loan for?" They often will not say something like "I don't have that in front of me. I think it was $400.00 something." Who is going to pay a loan to a collection agent making ludicrous threats when he does not even know the amount of the loan? (Don't answer this question because sadly there are enough dumbasses out there to pay these people, and most of them end up on the forums at DCC.com).

What do I mean by specificity and plausibility?

You have to know your client inside and out: Know the County name where the debtor resides, the name and type of the Court where a case may end up in the Debtor's area, the name of the Police Chief, Sheriff, and maybe even a Sheriff's deputy if possible. You also want to become familiar with the debtor's address and surrounding streets.

You may even do a little homework on the references that the Debtor provided on the loan application (if this is a loan default), ESPECIALLY if the reference has an unusual name, which could lead to finding out information about the reference. You're not going to be able to Google much on a reference named Chris Smith, but you could probably find out personal info on a reference named Carlos Schmidtzky. And then you turn around and use that personal information to scare the crap out of the Debtor -- make him wonder how you know that information about his reference.

Finally, don’t use stupid terms like “I am going to transfer your file to Processing,” "you've reached the Investigations Division,“ "I am going to have your processed," or a real gem from DCC, "I am going to have you downloaded." Don’t talk about the District Attorney bringing charges against the debtor in a state where the prosecutor is not even called a D.A, such as Illinois. Again, this shows your ignorance. And, finally don't go by some stupid name like "Mr. Brown." Do you have any idea how many collectors call themselves Mr. Brown? Way too many.

Let me give you an example to tie this all together. If I am calling a Houston, Texas debtor, who defaulted on an IPDL and listed references on the loan, my conversation may go something like this:

(IN VERY STERN, GRUFF VOICE)

Mr. Clack, if you don't pay at least 200 of your $400 balance today, the Harris County Sheriff will issue a warrant for your arrest. In fact, I spoke with Deputy Gregory Roth at the Harris County Sheriff’s Office and, he stated that District Attorney Williamson is really cracking down on payday loan defaulters right now. Deputy Roth said that there would be an officer serving a warrant right down the street from you around 4:30, and he would be happy to send him over from Bryce and Evans Street to your house on Reginald Avenue to serve you a warrant. But, like I said, we can make that all go away for $200 today. Are you sure you can't borrow the money from your reference, Mr. Shilts? I talked to him a few minutes ago, and he was talking about the guitar lessons he has been teaching for several years and that he may have some extra case. He figures you maybe reluctant to ask him for help, but I think he'd be more than happy to help you out.

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Next week, I will focus on the stupidity of not working out a payment plan or accepting money by mail or MoneyGram. You have to be one Goddamn Idiot Debt Collector not to take payment plans and MoneyGram.

Stole Many a Man's Soul and Faith

COLLECTING "STALES" VS. COLLECTING BAD INTERNET PAYDAY LOANS:

As noted in my first entry, I mainly collect two types of debt:

- Consumer debts that are beyond the applicable Statute of Limitations, which Anonymous refers to as "Stales";

- And bad Internet Payday Loan debts in which the debtor has already paid between two and three times the amount of the original loan amount or principle. Charging and collecting such high fees/rollovers is per se illegal in 47 of the 50 states and potentially illegal in the other 3 states depending on the specific facts of the debtor's case. Additionally, the respective lender is generally not licensed in the debtor's state, and the lender may not even be licensed in any state. I often just refer to these type of accounts as Bad IPDLs or Bad Payday Loans due to the illegal nature of the fees and lender's licensure status.

If I had to choose between the two types of debt, I'd say that it is easer to collect on the bad IPDLs than the Stales because the IPDL debtors are stupid. Absolutely dumb. Some are even borderline-retarded.

Think about it -- you have to be pretty Goddamn stupid to let a loan rollover 6 times before defaulting. You may just be stupid enough to pay me another 300 bucks to get me to go away. The downside obviously is that if you are stupid and broke enough to be in that situation, you probably don’t have a whole hell of a lot of money. But often times these people are surprised at how little I am willing to take to clear their account. When they consider that it will only cost X amount of dollars to get me off their back or avoid being arrested, going to jail, or maybe even going to the Debtor's Prison, a surprising number of these IPDL debtors find a way to come up with the money.

Generally, collecting on Stales takes more skill. More creativity. More work. And, the collection work on Stales actually takes quite a bit less manipulation and violation of the Federal debt collection and privacy laws as compared to collecting on bad IPDL debts.

I’m not saying that my conduct in collecting Stales is generally on the up-and-up. It isn't. But, my Stale collection behavior is less egregious than my IPDL collection behavior. And, I’m not saying that I can’t also get creative in collecting an IPDL, but the IPDL debtor is much easier to stereotype. The IPDL debtor is much easier to draw conclusions about. It’s easier to figure out what works and what doesn’t work and apply it to other IPDL debtors.

Collecting stales requires much more ad-libbing. It's more of an art-form than collecting on a bad IPDL. When you figure that I collect everything from Stale Retail debt to Stale Medical debt to Stale Hot Checks to Stale Utility debt and so on and so on, the Stale debtors come in may forms and character types. Plus, since 7 or more years has passed since the time the Stale debtor initially incurred the debt, a lot has changed in their lives. Well, for most of the Stale debtors a lot has changed. Some of them are still complete losers with no hope in life, no goals, and no discernible future. But, that is just it -- I can't stereotype Stale debtors because they could be anything from a complete and total loser to a rich and successful businessman who has turned his life around. And, therefore, some Stale debtors will respond to one type of collection behavior, some Stale debtors will respond to a different type of collection behavior, and others will not respond at all.

Man, I love my job.

I've Been Around For a Long, Long Year

FRIDAY AT THE OFFICE:

I tried to stick to the plan, but it didn't work. I tried to be the Good Cop. I tried.

Unfortunately, I hit a bunch of dead-ends early Friday morning. I remained calm and professional until I pulled a debtor’s credit report in regard to a Stale that I was about to start collection activity on. What I saw in this loser’s credit report made me lose my fucking mind.

This guy must have had $15,000 in small debts, all of which were about to hit the 7-year Statute of Limitations mark. Anonymous had recently purchased several of his other debts that had just cleared the 7-year mark. All told, he racked up about $20,000 in debt in 1999-early 2000, and he never paid a penny on it. And from all appearances, this schmuck never intended to pay a penny on it. None of the original account holders have ever pursued a judgment against him because the accounts were too small to be worth the hassle and fees. This guy was a professional debtor. He knew exactly what he was doing. He knew that conceivably he would never have to pay a penny back. Conceivably, when all his 7-year old debt gets sold to junk debt buyers like Anonymous, someone could still obtain a default judgment against him. But this guy appears to be too smart to take an unmeritorious default judgment. He’d simply have to file an answer with the Court pleading Statute of Limitations and show up for the Court date, if there even is a Court date.

I was going to send this goon a collection letter, but instead I just called him up just to give him a piece of my mind. I was wondering why we even purchased this debt; clearly this loser is smart enough that he is not going to pay a stale debt nor take a default judgment.

Fuck it. I don’t know why I’m even referring to this debtor anonymously. This guy is such a scumbag, I’m just going to post his real name, phone number, and address. Hey Louis Clack of Fremont, Tennessee (Address: 12021 Clarendon Street, Fremont, Tennessee 37010; Phone Number 299-621-0388). This guy even had the nerve to tell me that he owned a home and had run up a bunch of credit to fix up his house that he had just bought in 1999. Seeing as how Mr. Clack was going to live in the new house for a long time, he didn’t think that obtaining credit would be an issue anytime soon. And Mr. Clack said that at the time he ran up all the debt, he knew was taking a calculated risk that one or more of the debts would become a Court judgment, thus leading to a lien on his house. But, Clack was sure not to rack up any single debt large enough that it would be likely to lead to a civil action against him. He figured that none of the debts would be worth the time and money of suing him. The scumbag was right. And if the debts weren't worth a lawsuit before the Statute of Limitations expired, they sure as hell aren't worth a lawsuit now.

People like Louis Clack are the reason that I am never going to be able to straighten out my collection activities. People like Louis Clack are the reason that my dad busted knees and made house calls to his debtors. Back in the old days, Louis Clack wouldn’t have made it 7 years without paying $15-20,000 in debt. Louis Clack would have been swimming with the fishes. And back then, even if Louis Clack somehow did make it 7 years, it wouldn’t have mattered because there was no statute for swine like him.

I'm a Man of Wealth and Taste...

They say that collecting debt in January is very difficult. Well, "they" ought to try collecting bad debt in January. It is just near impossible.

So, after successfully collecting one debt on Thursday, I felt pretty good. And, the surprising thing was the manner in which I collected the debt.

This was a watershed day for me. I actually got a client to pay off a Stale without any undue harassment. And, I didn't even violate the FDCPA in the collection of the debt.

Last week I placed a call to a woman I will call Leandra. It was a standard and civil call. It was the first call I had placed to her on a debt that just came to my office the week before Christmas. I had also sent her a collection letter that complied with the FDCPA. Leandra's debt had just gone past the 7-year mark that was the applicable Statute of Limitations in her state. The debt was for $1,430.

So, Leandra called me and she was a little upset because she thought the debt was no longer valid since it was 7 years old. It would not be unusual for me to lie to the debtor in a situation like this and say, "actually the Statute of Limitations in your state is 10 years," or "actually because ____________, this debt can remain on your credit report for 15 years," or "well, I am looking at your 3-Bureau Report right now, and it is on all three reports." But I guess my conscience told me to just be civil to Leandra.

And shockingly enough, the civil approach worked. I explained to Leandra that the Statute of Limitations had expired, and if this account had not already been removed from her credit report, it would be removed shortly. But I explained, that the debt was still a valid debt, and that the expiration of the Statute will not stop people like Anonymous from pursuing collection activities on the account.

She was surprised by this, but she said she understood what I was saying. I said to Leandra, "now ma'am, I'm not sure what your financial situation is like right now, but if you were willing to pay $250 today, I will consider this account Paid in Full." We discussed the matter for a few minutes, and ultimately, Leandra agreed to pay $200 today, and I agreed to mark the account Paid in Full.

Unfortunately, I fibbed a little at the end of the conversation with Leandra, when I told her that I would go ahead and mark the account PIF today even though the check would not post until tomorrow. And, that I would be sure to send a PIF letter before leaving the Anonymous Office on Friday. I said this all the while knowing it wasn't true. That I wouldn't mark the account PIF until the check posted, and the odds of me sending a PIF letter Friday afternoon were nil.

I left Anonymous last night thinking, I may have turned a corner. It felt good to collect a debt in an ethical manner. And, I even felt a little bad about lying about the PIF letter.

I went to sleep Thursday night with the intention of continuing ethical collection activity on Friday.

Unfortunately, the ethical collection activity didn't even make it to my first piss break on Friday morning....

Please Allow Me to Introduce Myself...

EMPLOYER: I collect debts for a legitimate collection agency -- Anonymous Debt Collectors, Inc, or Anonymous for short. My work at Anonymous focuses exclusively on collecting bad debt. Specifically, I collect two forms of bad debt: 1) old debt that it is beyond the debtor's State Statute of Limitations (at Anonymous we call this "stale" debt or just "stales" for short); and 2) Unlicensed Internet Lender Payday Debt where the number of rollovers billed to the debtor exceeds the principle and legally permissible interest. To elaborate on the second category of debt, let's say that debtor takes out a $300 payday loan from Unlicensed Online Lender, pays at least 6 rollovers totaling nearly $600, then "defaults" on loan. Since this is way beyond the permissible interest and fees to be collected in all U.S. states, this is also bad debt. Technically, even if an Online Lender collects even $400 on a $300 payday loan, that exceeds most if not all state interest rates. But my work focuses on the payday loans where the debtor has paid at least two times the amount of the principle because this is really bad debt. PERSONAL DATA: I love my work. I am following after my old man who was the chief debt collector for a Jewish Loan Shark in Willamette, Illinois (suburban Chicago) back in the good ole days of debt collecting. I feel like I am carrying the family torch. While I am not alloted as much flexibility in my methods compared to my dad since my debtors are not generally local, I will go to extreme measures to collect on debt. But back in his day you could really rough a debt0r up. This is partially attributable to the fact the debtors were generally local, but also due to the fact that there was not much in the law of consumer protection laws for debtors. THE FAIR DEBT COLLECTION PRACTICES ACT: I do not believe in the Fair Debt Collection Practices Act or FDCPA for short. I realize that it is a law, and I can attest to the fact that Anonymous generally complies with the FDCPA in collection of legitimate debt. But I don't collect legitimate debt. And I don't follow the the FDCPA or FDCP-Gay as I sometimes refer to it. DOUG DANGER'S CREED: I have one motto and one gameplan, which both guide my debt collecting. My gameplan is to be cognizant at all times of the fact that I am collecting bad debt. Therefore, I am not going to be able to collect from just any one. I have to size up my competition. I believe that there are 3 types of debtors when it comes to collecting bad debt. The first step to deciding how to handle a phone call to the debtor is to determine which category they fall into. Category 1: People who realize that the debt is uncollectible because it is barred by state or federal statute. I don't violate the FDCPA until I have sized up a debtor as NOT being in this category. That's because these are the types who will file a complaint on me AND it's not worth the risk because they are not going to pay anyway -- they know the law is on their side. Category 2: People who are not aware of their rights but are hostile from the get-go with me. I try to use reverse psychology with them. And when I harass them it is always in a more subtle manner. I try to reason with them but subtly I try to humiliate them for not paying the debt. I have more luck with these people than with Category Oners, but this is still not the preferred group of people. They are also the type likely to stumble across this site. If that happens, I don't get paid. Category 3: These are the people who tremble and shake and care freaked out when I call. They are the ones to go crying and just lose it. I harass the living daylights out of these people. I make threats of arrest, property seizure, wage garnishment, and sometimes (usually if it's a woman) I will threaten bodily harm if there is no payment. Sometimes these people will stumble across this site and not pay. But I have pretty good luck with these people. The Motto: Don't put off for tomorrow what I can collect today. In collecting bad debts, you have to take anything you can get. If I can get $100 up front as part of a deferred payment plan, that is still probably more than we paid for the debt. When you consider that the person may soon learn that this is bad debt and cancel the payment plan, at least I got the $100 up front. When someone wants a payment plan that starts anything more than 3 days out, I suggest a small amount paid today. Because even in that few days, they may learn of their rights. PLUS, once I have their bank account information, technically I could still debit their account even after they change their mind. I can just leave it to them to dispute with their bank. So, that's really the key: GETTING SOME MONEY TODAY and getting the debtors' bank account information TODAY.