And I Was Around When Jesus Christ Had His Moment of Doubt and Pain

THE CREAM OF THE CROP RISES TO THE TOP:

This is the first of an ongoing series on what I do as a debt collector that separates me from the pack, and what Anonymous does as a collection agency that separates our company from the other collection agencies. I am proud to work for Anonymous. I am proud to work for a company that performs at such a high level. We are fast becoming the Michael Jordan of the collection industry.

There are several things that make me successful as a debt collector -- legitimate aspects of my collection activity and unethical aspects of my collection activity. Today, I am going to give a brief example of my virtues as a shady collector compared to the other companies.

SPECIFICITY AND PLAUSIBILITY OF MY THREATS IS THE KEY:

Specificity and plausibility really is the key to unethical debt collection. I am constantly reading about collection agencies, such as Bass and Associates, United Processing, Vericorp, etc. who make threats like "we are going to send several officers out to your place of employment to have you arrested on a $300.00 payday loan," "we are downloading affidavits for your arrest," "you better have an attorney present when you go home, because a felony warrant is being issued for your arrest." These are actual threats reported by debtors on the Message Board at http:www.debtconsolidationcare.com/forums. These range from stupid (multiple officers arresting someone over a 300 bucks) to horrible choice of words (downloading affidavits for your arrest???) to legally impossible (felony warrant on a payday loan).

Often, these companies like Bass and Associates will only perpetuate their ignorance when you ask them for more information -- even information as simple as "how much was the loan for?" They often will not say something like "I don't have that in front of me. I think it was $400.00 something." Who is going to pay a loan to a collection agent making ludicrous threats when he does not even know the amount of the loan? (Don't answer this question because sadly there are enough dumbasses out there to pay these people, and most of them end up on the forums at DCC.com).

What do I mean by specificity and plausibility?

You have to know your client inside and out: Know the County name where the debtor resides, the name and type of the Court where a case may end up in the Debtor's area, the name of the Police Chief, Sheriff, and maybe even a Sheriff's deputy if possible. You also want to become familiar with the debtor's address and surrounding streets.

You may even do a little homework on the references that the Debtor provided on the loan application (if this is a loan default), ESPECIALLY if the reference has an unusual name, which could lead to finding out information about the reference. You're not going to be able to Google much on a reference named Chris Smith, but you could probably find out personal info on a reference named Carlos Schmidtzky. And then you turn around and use that personal information to scare the crap out of the Debtor -- make him wonder how you know that information about his reference.

Finally, don’t use stupid terms like “I am going to transfer your file to Processing,” "you've reached the Investigations Division,“ "I am going to have your processed," or a real gem from DCC, "I am going to have you downloaded." Don’t talk about the District Attorney bringing charges against the debtor in a state where the prosecutor is not even called a D.A, such as Illinois. Again, this shows your ignorance. And, finally don't go by some stupid name like "Mr. Brown." Do you have any idea how many collectors call themselves Mr. Brown? Way too many.

Let me give you an example to tie this all together. If I am calling a Houston, Texas debtor, who defaulted on an IPDL and listed references on the loan, my conversation may go something like this:

(IN VERY STERN, GRUFF VOICE)

Mr. Clack, if you don't pay at least 200 of your $400 balance today, the Harris County Sheriff will issue a warrant for your arrest. In fact, I spoke with Deputy Gregory Roth at the Harris County Sheriff’s Office and, he stated that District Attorney Williamson is really cracking down on payday loan defaulters right now. Deputy Roth said that there would be an officer serving a warrant right down the street from you around 4:30, and he would be happy to send him over from Bryce and Evans Street to your house on Reginald Avenue to serve you a warrant. But, like I said, we can make that all go away for $200 today. Are you sure you can't borrow the money from your reference, Mr. Shilts? I talked to him a few minutes ago, and he was talking about the guitar lessons he has been teaching for several years and that he may have some extra case. He figures you maybe reluctant to ask him for help, but I think he'd be more than happy to help you out.

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Next week, I will focus on the stupidity of not working out a payment plan or accepting money by mail or MoneyGram. You have to be one Goddamn Idiot Debt Collector not to take payment plans and MoneyGram.